She ached to be in his arms again, his arms that held her so tight.
Tonight, was particularly difficult for her. It was her birthday and her wish had been only for him. Her friends had taken her out to dinner and surprised her with a single candle on a cake. When she closed her eyes to make her wish, he was all she could think of. As she blew out the tiny flame, a lonely tear fell to the table. Her friends tired not to notice and she pretended it was a tear of joy, although everyone there knew the truth.
She had tried to make the best of things today. She had graciously accepted their invite out, had done her hair and makeup and had even worn her best dress. She’d smiled and laughed with her friends, at their jokes and even told a few her-self. She was truly appreciative of their thoughtful birthday dinner, their well wishes and all of their love, but she deeply missed him.
She had kissed her friends goodbye in front of the restaurant after the dinner party and had gone straight home. She half hoped, maybe even expected him to be in the house waiting for her as she turned the key to the front door. But, as she entered the darkness of their house she knew he was not coming home tonight.
Sadie, as always, was eager to see her and ran from the upstairs as soon as she had closed the door behind her. Sadie was the rock in her life. She was always so happy to see them when they come home, her eyes always gleaming and her tail always wagging. She bent to scratch Sadie behind her ears before heading towards the back door to let her outside. As she shut the door behind Sadie’s wagging tail, she lend against it, “Alone” she thought, “Happy Birthday to me!”
She looked around the quite kitchen for a moment, not sure what to do next or even what she was looking for, until she spotting the wine crack. She dug in the drawer for the bottle opener, pulled at a nice bottle of wine, grabbed herself a tall glass and headed to the upstairs for a much needed bubble bath.
“Just what I need to finish off my birthday, a long, hot, bath and glass or maybe two of wine” she said aloud, to know one. She slide out of her dress of at the top of the stairs, tossed it over the railing and left a trail of unmentionables scattered on the floor through the bedroom to the bathroom door.
She ran the water as hot as she could and sprinkled into it her favorite bath salts and bubbles, lots of bubbles. She tipped her toes in, testing the heat and then slowly lowered herself into the water as the bubbles closed around her. She leaned back allowing the water to wash away her day, taking with it, some of her pain. She closed her eyes and imagined him there with her.
She could still smell him and hoped more than anything that she always would. The scent of his cologne clung to his clothes that still hung in the closet. At times, she would drag them from within and hold them close as if he were still there. She could still feel those powerful arms as they wrapped around her and held her close. She could feel his pulse racing through him or his lips as he kissed her. Sometimes, he felt so real. Sometimes, she felt she could still touch his skin, sometimes, she could feel him as he made love to her. She missed him and she knew she always would. Fully immersed in the hot water, from her neck to her toes and with her eyes still closed, she began to fill her bath again, this time though, it was with her tears.